Bar keep, shot for one please.

Is there anything more pitiful then feeling alone when your surrounded by people? I went to a bar upon invitation and a lot showed up, but in the end I was alone at the bar sipping my drink. Idle conversation passing my lips but no words worth repeating or remembering. No interesting stories, jokes or quips. Just a few empty bottles and shot glasses littered around my chair. Passing glances are all I expect and what I receive.

The morning held nothing better, waking up with the urge to just break down and cry, haven't felt like that in years. A sense of loss when nothing has, only a hole where something must of been. Something that I held dear to me but now is lost, though hidden and even unknown to my conscious mind yet I feel it's void. Was it something physical? Emotional? Has my ego taken a hit and is seeking shelter to lick it's wounds?

In time I might find out, might be able to reclaim what has left a deep sorrow in my mind. Though not sure how to start the recovery as it is hard to find something when you don't know what your looking for.

Still surrounded by people, family even, but not feeling connected to anything at all. Feeling out of place just being, not complete and therefore broken. Existing yet not, passing time until the next lifeless day arrives so I may pass that day by and wait for the next.


Never ending, just a lifetime of days.